You know how much I love you. I tell you everyday. I dont love myself. I’m unhappy with myself. I’m unhappy with my life. Pushing me away isn’t making me want to stay. I tell that you don’t have to do this because it seems like you really don’t want to. Why would you even question the fact that I love you. I wouldn’t be doing any of this of I didnt love you. Acting like you don’t care makes me believe like you don t care. Being rude when we argue makes it seem like you don’t care. I’m not asking you to be perfect because its you rimperfections that I fell in love with. All of this shit is not fair to me. I don’t want it to be like this. I’ve completely lost myself.
Fuck today. Fuck tomorrow. Fuck my family. Fuck school. Fuck my life. Fuck. Fucking shit. I fucking despise the current situation I am in. Everyone claims to care but no one fucking does and I know it. I know you don’t care. I just want you to give up on me so I can give up on myself. I am fucking m i s e r a b l e. I want to quit so bad and now that you’re frustrated with me you’re making it easier for me to just not give a fuck. Fuck everything.
Fuck. Just this last month and a half has been so incredibly shitty. I miss my dad so much but I can’t help but hate him for what he did to me. His dumb fucking decision has literally ruined my life. I’m madly in love with a girl that I can’t let myself be with because Im so incredibly unhappy with myself. All I want is a fucking reason to live. Because despite all the people that, “really care about me” I’m fucking alone. I don’t even have myself anymore. I’ve lost all self worth and motivation and fuck I hate my life. I don’t want to kill myself but I just want to escape everything. I hate this.